Past few days I have been thinking about some people who used to have good thoughts about me have changed. Few relationships got sour which is a natural aftermath of a divorce. A divorce ultimately turns dirty when there is a blame game. So I have been thinking lately about my ex in laws, and few mutual friends of my ex husband and me who I am no longer in contact with.
Up until my ex started the divorce case in the court, my ex in laws were supportive of me. They liked me and said good things to me and about me. Until the divorce case ran in the court. That is when my ex got upset at his family for being in contact with me and blaming me of being greedy and sinfully trying to take all of his money as child support and alimony. No matter how much I explained that the money was allotted by the court my ex FIL kept e-mailing me that I was a greedy person and my ex MIL accused me of becoming evil and plotting revenge against her son. Finally, they all turned against me when I refused to let my son travel outside the USA out of fear that my son would be taken away from me, which any mother (a woman who had been brutally betrayed by her trusted ones) would do so. The people who had cursed and shamed the home wrecker, had finally accepted her and made her part of their family. Long story short, I, the woman who had lived with them for 5 years, and whom they came to know was immediately an evil, selfish and a greedy woman. Oh and the one who took their grandson away from them. How hard hearted must I be?
It bothers me sometimes only. Because I still miss my ex-inlaws. I miss those little children I considered as my own. I miss a family I had come to love over the years. So definitely it hurts to know how I am wrongly looked upon now. Point being there will always be people who will wrongfully accuse you. Throw dirt at you. Label you with cheap names. It shall hurt. I get desperate at times that I should message my MIL once if I could that I am not who she thinks I am. That I have no intention and I have never planned to take her grandson away. For once just message my ex SIL that I miss our wacky jokes and the times we have discussed lame issues. For once if I could clear out all that I am wrongfully accused of. Defend my honesty.
Just like me you will have instances where you want to shout out to the world your true self. Defend your innocence. Fight and prove that you did not do what you are being accused of. But I cannot convince the world. You cannot either. So I pray. I pray hard. That the God who has a time set for everything shall one day bring justice. Whether I see it in my life or not, it shall happen. That one day they will know I was hurt too. I suffered more than anybody in that tragedy.
And my confidence is restored. I know that my silence would speak for me. That the person who is on the right does not beg for respect or dignity. I do not need to prove to them. I did not destroy lives. I will not beat myself up and worry about how to prove my intentions. Respect is earned and not everyone will respect me. Not everyone will like me. I will always have few people who will falsely label me and so will you. Pray hard. Be kind and offer your true self to everyone. Respect and dignity comes from God. And truth always prevails. A time is set. You will know that you are right when you have peace within you. You are content with your life.
Stay Calm and Let People Talk. Give Your best and Let People Talk.
Let People Talk and Hand it to God.
“My Crown is in my heart, not on my head:
Not deck’d with Diamonds, and Indian stones:
Nor to be seen: my Crown is call’d Content,
A Crown it is, that seldom Kings enjoy.”